I look at my prayer-corner, and I look at it with that strange and familiar feeling of reluctance. I’ve been so bad at making time.
I’ll sit down, open up the readings, and my mind will be blank. I’ll sit down, close my eyes, and pray – what? The same words I’ve always used? Meanwhile, the dishes are piling up, I’ve got so many projects I should be getting to, somebody might have messaged or emailed me…
Excuses. You’ll never lack them if you want to avoid your duties. What a lot of rationalizing! Don’t stop to think about excuses. Get rid of them and do what you should. 1
Right. Okay, right. I look over at the prayer corner again. But – I’ve been working all day. I’m pooped. I deserve a break – just a little break. My eyes dart to the laptop.
Don’t be “namby pamby”! That’s not the way I want you. It’s time you got rid of that peculiar pity you feel about yourself. 2
I sigh and sit down and open up the daily readings. I close my eyes – Holy Spirit, help me to focus. And then I look up and see my laptop sitting over on my desk. And I feel the grip of that frustrating… reluctance again.
My stomach grumbles. I’ve only just had supper, and my stomach’s awake again. Just a sec, God – I’ll just make a little something to nibble on –
Why stoop to drink from the puddles of worldly consolations if you can satisfy your thirst with waters that spring into life everlasting? 3
But then I won’t be able to focus.
Give in? Be just commonplace? 4 … Don’t try to reason with concupiscence. Scorn it. 5
Okay, okay. Re-focus. Lord, help me to re-focus. Lord, help me to be that saint you want me to be. Lord, help me to stop being satisfied with just giving in to comfortable things. Lord, it’s so hard!
“Pray that I may never be satisfied with what is easy,” you say. I’ve already prayed. Now it is up to you to carry out that fine resolution. 6
Thanks, St. Josemaria. That’s easier said than done.
No matter what happens, don’t worry as long as you don’t consent. For only the will can open the door of the heart and let that corruption in. 7
I grumble, but admit he’s right. Holy Spirit, give me the strength. I breathe, and turn back to the readings.
Don’t be disheartened. I have seen you struggle. Today’s defeat is training for the final victory. 8
If publishing article online please attribute source Serviam Ministries with link to original article.
All quotes from The Way, by St Josemaria Escriva.
1 21, 2 193, 3 148, 4 16, 5 127, 6 39, 7 140, 8 263