I read this NY times article and I have been thinking about this issue a lot as well prior to it. It tells a sad tale of women spending life savings to obtain a child at all costs, life, money, time, and most of all, hope.
“Ending our treatments was one of the bravest decisions we ever made, and we did it to preserve what little remained of our shattered selves, our strained relationships and our depleted bank accounts. No longer under the spell of the industry’s seductive powers, we study its marketing tactics with eagle eyes, and understand how, like McDonald’s, the fertility industry works to keep people coming back for more.”
Perhaps what I would like to add to the article, is that to me, the act of ending those treatments, was to let go of trying to control what is uncontrollable to us. And that can be the most freeing. Not feeling responsible for what you aren’t in control of. That sounds so simple doesn’t it? But we spend our lives trying to control! It is this needing to be in control that paralyzes us and makes us so desperate that the “reproductive medicine” industry can actually take over and exploit people. They focus solely on the whole idea that you can attain the life you “should” have. It gives hope. It gives answers. But it also gives lies and ultimately harms. There is no should. Only what could be, in God’s hands. In God’s will.
Letting go of the need to control can be truly freeing. Trusting God to lead you in all areas, including related to future family members, is the best way to attain peace. After all, children are blessings and not something to be manufactured or purchased.